Living with STDs

October 2008

• Why me? - by JJ - (Mon, Oct 13 2008)
  Ok Im 22 years old, have had 5 partners since the age of 17.. However one wasnt my choice.. Anyways this may seem really selfish but I just really dont understand why me? I have had regular paps since I was 15 years of age.. All of which have came out PERFECT!!!!! I wanted to wait for sex til I got married.. However, Life has its ways of changing our plans.. I was raped when I was 15 years old by my boyfriend at the time.. Never told anyone cause who would believe me over the popular high school football star??? Anyways after that I wanted nothing to do with him.. I felt used, dirty, and worst of all my innosence had been stolen from me.. About a year or so after I started dating a new guy.. He was amazing..Everything a girl would want and more.. So at 17 I decieded to give myself to him..(since someone had already taken it from me..No point in waiting until I was married now..Right? Wrong.. You can always wait.. Dont do like I did and give in.. Its your body you only get one.. Treat it like that)Always used protection.. Well he left for the navy we were planning to get married as soon as I turned 18..( In a couple of months) Well he cheated on me.. Which started a whole new phase in my life.. Called being by myself.. For about a year and a half I was alone.. Which I didnt mind..Sometimes it bothered me..But I had a lot of fun.. (Not having sex at all not even kissing) Just going out with the girls.. I moved to a different town to help my grandpa who is sick… When I first moved down here I turned 20.. Didnt know anyone and needed a job fast.. I got a job and met this really cool guy..Not my type at all..He was short, fat, older(about 10 years) We had a blast…Started dating for about 8 1/2 months.. Till he cheated on me on my 21st birthday with a co-worker.. Ugh.. After him..Stayed single again..Figured that relationships were not in the best idea for me since there was a vicous cycle starting.. Well I was 21 and having the time of my life.. Not having sex but just getting out meeting new people.. Then the next guy I met my typical type.. A complete jerk..Good looking, tall, athletic, had a job, ect.. But cheated on me too.. Well after him I knew for sure that I wasnt going to date anymore..But then I met this guy(who stalked me..It was cute) Just to find little ways to start conversation.. So we started dating..Now its been 8 months and I just had a pap…Which came back I have HPV and external warts.. On my butt.. Gross.. So I tell my boyfriend so he can get checked..And supriseingly he isnt mad.. He isnt blaming me.. Dont get me worng he asked a couple of questions.. But I told him to look up info about the virus.. Im just so embarresed…So scared.. Not sure who gave it to me.. My OBGYN sent me to a Dermotologyst and he told me that I could have got these anywhere.. At the gym, Shower, Bathroom, ANYWHERE… That they are very common in kids.. And that with treatment they will go away.. Normally they go away on there own anyways.. Your body just has to build the anti bodies to fight it off.. I am just scared that they wont.. I dont have them on the inside at all..Thank God.. So inside Im good.. Its just on the part of my rear that touches the other part of my rear.. Inbetween the butt cheeks..I love my current boyfriend more than life its self.. I just hope that we can get through this.. I am going to get them burned off.. Does anyone have any advice on stuff they bought over the internet that helped them go away.. And stay away??? [more..]