Living with Interstitial Cystitis

I have spent the past 3 years in and out of the doctor’s office, trying to convince her that the pelvic pain and discomfort I feel are not in my mind. I have taken increased doses of depression medication to appease my general care provider, only to have her wonder why it never cured my symptoms.

I was diagnosed with IC over 10 years ago. At that time, little was known about the condition. Certainly, no one, not even the urologist who diagnosed me, could tell me what I would have to deal with after finding a label for what I thought were chronic bladder infections.

I took the medicine prescribed and continued my life. Eventually, I noticed my symptoms were no longer bothersome. A blessed period of remission followed, lasting several years.

Then, a couple of years ago, I began to have deep, stabbing pains in my pelvis. Many times, cysts would show up on my ovaries and my doctor believed these were causing my pain. However, these could not account for the severity and duration of the symptoms.

I had come to believe that I really did not struggle with IC any longer, and had not spoken with anyone about the condition in a very long time. I did not know that it could come back. I didn’t know what to do when I experienced the times of pain.

I became frustrated when my doctor began to suggest that I suffered from depression Then, I thought, “Well, I am depressed because of not knowing what is wrong with me.” So, as I stated, I began taking antidepressants. They did not help. Eventually, my symptoms would go away. But, again, they returned. I learned to live with it, and to avoid the doctor.

Finally, two months ago, I suffered an attack of pelvic pain which sent me running to my primary care provider. My insides ached, burned. I felt I was being torn apart from the inside. Again, an ultrasound showed a small ovarian cyst. Again, my doctor questioned my use of antidepressants.

This time, I didn’t listen. This time, I asked for a referral to a gyncologist, who helped me understand that my symptoms can be explained by the waxes and wanes of IC. He referred me back to a urologist the long forgotten diagnostician of my original symptoms.

I am not crazy. I have IC. I have a condition that causes me severe, uncontrollable pain at times, which sometimes seems to correspond to other pelvic issues. Sometimes not. I don’t know why this attack is so much worse, physically speaking. I do know that, mentally, I feel better than I have in ages because I know that I am not making up my symptoms. Perhaps the severity of this attack was my body’s way of reminding me to keep up with the current research on conditions that I have been diagnosed with. So much more can be done now than 10 years ago.

I am not crazy, and in spite of my pain, that feels good! Primary care physicians, while good at treating sinus infections or pink eye, know relatively little about IC, which is a frustrating fact. However, I need to be in control of my condition. And that is what I am learning to be!