Living with Erectile Dysfunction

I am soon to be 50 years old and at 18 knew something was wrong with me. I could not get an erection. I went to the urologist in 1979 and he basically told me it was all in my head which was typical in the pre ED drug days. I met a wonderful lady and knew I wanted to marry her but knew I had to get help with my problem. I did find a physician that diagnosed me at 19 with hypogonatropic hypogonadism

I started testosterone and HCG injections at the age of 19. This worked enough to father 2 children which I am very grateful for but soon after, I got tired of the injections-they were painful and the mood swings were awful so I eventually quit them. And of course the erections stopped and the relationship went downhill. As far as my genital size - I lived a very sheltered life and did not know that everyone was not like me.

I have a small penis and as a result of HRT, very small testicles. I am now divorced and am back on topical testosterone prepared by a compounding pharmacy. Thanks to Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra, I have had some success in relationships but I have recently gone back to the Androgel because my insurance covers it but find that I have no libido and along with that come the low self esteem, depression etc so I have started back on the compoounded cream.

I would not wish this ailment on anyone. I have lived with it and would just like to know why me-what happened and why was I deprived a normal life? Noone knows what it is like to be a man and know what a man is supposed to know, do ,feel and know that you are a freak of nature with no libido, a little penis, and even worse, a little penis that does not work. I am lucky that medicine has progressed from the dark days of my firt urologist visit and that I have been able to have sexual relations at least.

I know that others must be living with the same problems and just want them to know they are not alone. HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and erectile dysfunction drugs are miracles from God and make life livable at least. The world evolves around the principle of having sexual desires whether you are an animal or human-when you take that away-the world stops-basic psychology 101. Unless anyone has experienced this—they will not understand.