Living with BPH/Enlarged Prostate

My ex-husband has been incontinent for several years. I could no longer care for him. I weigh 85 pounds, he probably weighs about twice that. He’s now at [moderator note: location removed for privacy]. His primary physician, [moderator mote: name removed for privacy], refuses to listen about non-invasive procedures, such as a large dose of testosterone to shrink his prostate, save his kidneys, save Medicare and (most important) probably save his life (infections, strokes, etc.) He’s in the critical care ward for renal failure! No one at the hospital seems to know who his urologist is. They think he may be ‘[moderator mote: name removed for privacy]’. I just Googled him, and it appears he has an office close to the hospital. Bottom line: if you’re sick, never go to a hospital. You’ll only run up impossible medical bills, contract super bugs, get no treatment (the hospital expects me to be there day and night to keep him calm, feed him, clean him, etc.) and (as in my case) come close to killing you!